It’s time to use our hearts.

[Edit] This is not my most thought-out post, given that there may be certain fallacies in my argument but all I’m asking for, is for us to be kind to one another and to hear each other’s stories first.

A friend gave me feedback to highlight this. I have to be consistent too, so I’m asking for a world where LGBT individuals do not peg down every single disagreement to an attack on their sexuality (for whatever reasons or insecurity), to be rationale in their expectations of how society regards them. I had a gay friend who deliberately engaged in PDA to provoke a conservative friend who really tried her best to be accepting. It’s okay to be affectionate and to PDA, but do it out of love for your partner. I think we all know those moments where we encounter people who PDA to spite, to provoke and honestly then it becomes abit hard to expect acceptance for love when love is portrayed with undertones of spite and provocation.

More importantly, I’m asking for a world where we could all use our hearts to see, to empathise, to understand. It is too simplistic to “persecute the divorced who overuse the term ‘irreconciliable beliefs’, persecute parents who leave parenting to schools and maids. Persecute parents who are always away. Persecute parents who lie to their children that they’d come back for them. Persecute parents who’d promise that they’d shower children with happiness but then steal it all away by abusing them. Persecute parents who spoil their kids.” Because I think everyone has their story to tell and that everyone has equal responsibility to deal with the fallout of their actions, and that our sexuality shouldn’t amplify or diminish our accountability to society, to the people we care about and to ourselves.

Opening up my blog to the public and it seems apt that this would be my first post (for friends who know me).

I’ve had numerous conversations over the past few weeks about LGBT, 377a,  PinkDot, pro-family. It pains me that some of these concepts are deemed mutually exclusive but I get that we all have our reservations. My friends shared with me of their struggles in reconciling their gendered beliefs, pro-family beliefs, discomfort and asked me what is the right way to react. Pro-family beliefs particularly striking a chord in me because of all the gaping inconsistencies I see.

I don’t think there will ever be a right way per se. I would always wish that people see the world the way I do & support love in its various forms but how terribly boring would that be? I thought about it carefully and decided that I have this to say, and this to share with my friends.

Be consistent.
If you are truly pro-family, why not persecute the divorced who overuse the term ‘irreconciliable beliefs’, persecute parents who leave parenting to schools and maids. Persecute parents who are always away. Persecute parents who lie to their children that they’d come back for them. Persecute parents who’d promise that they’d shower children with happiness but then steal it all away by abusing them. Persecute parents who spoil their kids.

Both heterosexual and homosexual couples are equally at risk of turning out to be such parents.

I am pro-family. & I am worried that family is increasingly taken for granted. I do not believe that LGBT individuals are at greater risk of transmitting ‘undesirable values’. I believe that we should be held accountable for our actions and our sexuality shouldn’t warrant undue scrutiny. I believe that we should examine these values we want to inculcate in our younger generation – if the insistence on having a man and woman structure is more important than having a loving & supportive environment for a child to grow up in.

It doesn’t make much sense to me for sexuality to be such a huge determinant of our character, of our identity. That after everything we’ve tried to do right in our lives, we’d just be remembered as “the transsexual, the gay, the lesbian, the bisexual, the straight”. I believe that we’d all want to be remembered as “oh, she stood up for her beliefs, he was extremely filial, he changed someone’s life”. So why are we hinging so much on one’s sexuality?

It’s time we recognise people for the people they are. I have met heterosexuals who have gone out their ways for another, I have met homosexuals who have brought so much joy with the good they do. I have encountered nastiness from both heterosexuals and homosexuals and it would be naive to think that nastiness didn’t appear anywhere.

I’m asking for a world where sexuality won’t be so overplayed. Where my friends who are uncomfortable with LGBT individuals but who remain kind and civil, do not have to feel that they are victimised and regarded as bigots for their different views. Where my LGBT friends do not face undeserved workplace/societal discrimination for who they are.
I’m asking for a consistent world. If you are going to be pro-family, make sure you’re really pro-family and that you haven’t conveniently omitted scrutiny of certain groups of people. Because if you have been consistent I would sincerely applaud you for your convictions.

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Dezhi says:

    Hello Mich! Loving the blog! What an scintillating debut topic to have. I have had so many discussions with my friends around this issue as well.

    Personally, I think this is such a hot button issue because it has been raised to fore by inciters on both sides of the fence. There are plenty of pro-family heterosexuals who are accepting of homosexuals, whether within or without a religious organization. Similarly, there are plenty of homosexual individuals who are pro-family as well, but choose to lead a life that makes them happy. I have come to realize it’s the overemphasis and philosophizing on the detriments of differing viewpoints that has caused so much furor. What is important is to show love to your neighbours, regardless of sexuality.

    If everyone can achieve that, we would realise that we are all flawed individuals trying to do better.

    Like

    1. Mich says:

      Thanks Dezhi! 🙂 Your opinion is always valued ❤ "We are all flawed individuals trying to do better." – I love this phrase. I was reading several comments to today's article about LHL's view towards the LGBT situation, and what saddened me were the comments. There were angry, unhappy and strong comments from both sides of the fence. It is always so sad when we are all fundamentally governed by love, but this love doesn't translate well into our words when we interact with people we insist to be on the other side. I think every one who cares, need to realise that there are truly no sides :/ we are really all individuals on the same 'side' trying to do better and love more. Hopefully, there will be more people who will reason and work together. Sigh, but it is difficult to expect reason and rationality when this topic concerns so many individuals so personally.

      Like

  2. mackie says:

    Late to the party, but better late than later hehe. This is such a well-written post, and I love how eloquently and objectively you positioned your argument: we ALL have a part to play in order to move forward.

    It’s important to keep having this conversation, because there is so much work to do. We each deserve to love whom we choose, it’s a basic and CIVIL right. Remaining silent on the issue, even if you inwardly support, or do not oppose LGBT rights is as good as contending it. You inspire with your tireless efforts. More can be done, but this blog is a good place to begin. 🙂

    Like

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