Only human

Struggling and trying to grapple with my conflicting emotions over all that has happened. 
I will never understand how people are unable to appreciate the different facets of humanity and how they opt to push for a single narrative to contain everyone. A narrative where kisses intended to violate and shame become construed as an LGBT agenda; where even the stage (a safe place to explore and express) is regulated. Shouldn’t it be that we should welcome differing views so that our own can grow and strengthen? Don’t blindly and unnecessarily censor all that offends, instead, make sense of all that unsettles you. The space to be offended is synonymous to the space to grow and to be enlightened.
I am also slightly uncomfortable with the shaming and witchhunt of the individual who threatened to take up arms against the LGBT community. Heck, it really feels good to see mean-spirited people be called out and have to be held accountable, and I was filled with inexplicable glee when I hit the ‘like’ button on the sharing of all his details but now it discomfits for a strange reason. 


This piece is probably very old/tried-tested material and the message propagated in so many forms but this is really a piece for myself, a reminder to myself not to lose hope and not to give in to anger. 

I am only human.

I will experience a multitude of emotions
from hate to love, from disgust to awe, from pain to nothing.
These emotions are non-binary, they are not exclusive.
They are why I feel unprecedented glee when bigots are shamed,
and why I feel uncomfortable that we have to shame.

I am only human.

I will see things I do not like
Senseless killings, disparity, people pushing
one another and relishing in another’s sorrow
They are motivations for me to act out, reasons to see red
and also reasons to appreciate the rainbow.

I am only human.

I will hear words that go against my every being
racial slurs, people telling me the only way I can behave
Wave after wave, guidebooks after guidebooks
They are what discomfits me, what threatens me, what suffocates me
and also what strengthens my convictions.

I am only human.

I will taste what is different
Cultures, heritage, socio-economic,
enabilities and that which tastes unexpectedly like home.
They scare me, my tastebuds are shocked by how I devour
and appreciate the fullness of every flavour.

I am only human.

I will smell suspicion and doubt
on every individual I do not recognise,
smells that make me walk faster and to slow down
They shock the senses – the silent and deadly farts to the smell of home that beckons
and how these could all be from one person.

I am only human.

I will touch hearts and walk into brick walls
every time I open my own
that cripples me, that fortifies, that embitters
There will be hearts in high places, in dark places, in the light
but they will not stop my own from beating.

I am only human.

I will struggle.
I will struggle to grow despite the barriers
I will struggle to be good when all I want to do is hurt
I will be weary and I will lose hope
but this is all part of being human.

I will struggle
I will struggle but I will choose
to love and be kind.
I am not noble, I am not naive
I have only decided that I am only human
and that I will try to be a loving human.

I am only human.

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